Unmet Expectations:
A leading cause of divorce
Everybody enters marriage with expectations. These expectations are hidden rules that form our reality of how a marriage should function. These expectations are usually unconscious (hidden) rules that we expect our partner to comply with.
Why don't you help me prepare the meal?
Really? In my family my dad did not help with meal preparation
I can't believe that you could be so insensitive and unkind
What are you talking about? Ladies prepare the meal. Not men.
( The altercation continues....)
The problem is that they never discussed expectations regarding house chores
Why discuss Expectations?
If our partner breaks these hidden rules or expectations, we feel disappointed and unloved. Conversely, we feel especially loved and validated when our partner does specific behaviors that resonate with your expectations
Unconscious role expectations have been hard-wired in us based on our upbringing, the media, friends, books we read, the church, etc.
Since our partner is not a mind-reader, they must be made aware of what these unconscious expectations are. This awareness is most effectively accomplished through effective communication.
You Must Talk
In order for you and your partner to set up clear expectations for yourselves, it’s necessary to talk things over.
