We cannot afford to do marriage by default, drawing only upon the skewed patterns of relating that we inherited from our family of origin and other sources.
Learn the secret to creating a triumphant marriage
If all you've learned about marriage is from your upbringing, the media, friends and books, and those sources have been flawed, and you have not learned anything new, then you are condemned to blunder along. You cannot help but hurt your spouse and damage your kids.
We cannot afford to do marriage by default, drawing only upon the skewed patterns of relating that we inherited from our family of origin and other sources. We must break the cycle and start learning some new things.
The memories of childhood are vivid.
There are some who have been victims of extreme childhood experiences. Others have just been deprived of a loving home environment where a healthy dose of love, laughter and emotional fondness have been lavishly served.
Children live what they learn
The natural tendency is for children to live what they learn. When these flawed cultivated tendencies are smuggled into the marriage, the vicious dysfunctional cycle continues. It is easy to understand why approximately 95 percent of marital troubles did not originate in the marriage, but were brought into the marriage from our singleness.
Learn new things
We must be deliberate about changing the trajectory of our marriage by changing the way we relate.
The best way to break old habits is to replace them with new patterns. We must learn some new things. The divine counsel is germane: "Cease to do evil, learn to do well" (Isaiah 1:16, 17).
- lloyd Allen
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